3:24 p.m. - 2004-12-06
back from the dead?
So here I am back at the computer, which I love, instead of having to do all those other things which I keep walking away from like household renovations or human drama or whatnot and I really don't want to write in my journal which no one ever reads anyway and drawing pictures in the sketchbooks which no one ever sees anyway and which they never seem to like even when they do look at them . They think it is great if I bake some bread or carry something around and I know I always think that's why people die is because they just have to be a cog in the wheel and do their job and not complain and certainly not show off or express themselves in any way and then they are acceptable but if they want to just goof around and play some music or not maybe just look at clouds or something it is just plain selfish and lazy and self indulgent. So should I think hard about what I am going to write here? If I do I will never write anything I will just worry about whether they are going to send troopers to my place and burn it down or something so why be afraid? I actually am not .On the bus people told me they couldn't wait to die and go to heaven because they worked so hard and suffered so much in this life. This was because I asked them what they would do if they lived forever, In other words what would they do with eternal life and they wanted none of it. Lots of people seem to say Life is a Bitch and then you die, but it is not it is a lot of fun and just because they think it is cool to suffer doesn't mean anyone else does.Why not enjoy ? A righteous god would make life to enjoy Live forever and Prosper, etc. yes ? I really like playing fun games, like I enjoyed Myst and Myst III(Exile) and now I found these other games like www.albartus.com/motas/.Mystery of Time and Space. My brain is somewhat clogged up tring to figure out what's up with all this political brouhaha but I figure it like dinosaurs and mammals which were relatively insignificant while dinosaurs roamed the earth or so they say. Allegorical perhaps. Anyway I figure just to spend as much time as I can doing stuff I like cause the kingdom heaven is within and I can be there all the time which doesnt mean I can't reach out and play with stuff? As long as it doesn't bite ha ha . Yike! I'm raving like a lunatic. Oh, wait I forgot, I am a raving lunatic. bwoohahaha! It is snowing out right now. The guys are upstairs doing some renovation which I am not interested in as I am generally willing to sleep on a floor or whatever but they are at that phase lately so lets hope they are enjoying it. They seem to be I try to get them to wanna play but they don't seem interested. Serious business, what? Anyway I just went to itunes to play some music but I couldnt decide so i put on creedence clearwater. Bad Moon Rising is playing right now EEEek is that a bad omen??? Oops, I forgot. I played it, didn't I ? What am I trying to tell myself? Hasn't all the bad stuff already happened and now we can look back if we choose to but we don't have to turn to salt anymore. Thats why that Mistery game is so fun . You get to hang out in the lower realms and it's fun. The trick is not to be afraid. I love to play like that... solving puzzles. I feel, as the queen of the damned ,that it is ok as long as the kingdom of heaven is within. Then they can say what they like. I was playing the bass earlier. It was fun Playing (as in goofing around) sorta like painting.Anyway this is fun .Later...

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